The little things
by arctic-priince
Summary: Blaine isn't ready to deal with this. Not now. Not yet. Not ever. Warnings: Terminal illness.


_Alzheimer's disease_  
_the most common form of dementia, characterized by confusion, memory lapses, emotional instability, and progressive loss of mental ability._

It is not curable.  
-

It starts with small, insignificant things. Small enough that Blaine isn't really worried at all. When Kurt starts going to bed without doing his skin-care routine or forgets his keys at work Blaine figures that he's just tired. He works insane hours, often bringing his work home with him; refusing to eat or talk until he's finished his newest design. To be honest, Blaine's surprised Kurt's not keeling over from the stress already. When Kurt starts putting things in the wrong places, Blaine laughs at him. It's endearing and Kurt's little pout always makes him want to kiss the younger man. But then, things gradually starts changing.

Blaine's lounging on the couch, watching a rerun of some crappy soap opera, waiting for Kurt to come home, when the doorbell finally rings. Blaine gets up in a hurry and opens the door to a rumpled and displeased Kurt, his cheeks red from the cold outside and snow melting in his hair. Blaine thinks he looks a little like drowned cat, but refrains from saying anything, letting his husband into their shared Manhattan apartment.

"Hey, babe. Want me to take that for you?" He asks Kurt, gesturing towards the heavy-looking grocery bag in his arms.

"No, it's okay. It's just milk." Kurt replies, setting the bag on the counter as he opens the refrigerator and starts filling it with cartons of milk and replacing them with empty ones. Blaine watches him for a while before walking around the counter to stand behind Kurt, putting his arms around the taller mans waist and leaning his head on his shoulder before speaking.

"What took you so long? I was worried something had happened…" And he had been. Kurt had been gone for over an hour, which was a lot considering the store was mere 5 minutes away. In addition Kurt had left his phone on the kitchen counter, something Blaine had found out when he'd tried calling his husband.

Kurt doesn't answer at first, opting to finish putting away the milk before closing the door and turning around in Blaine's arms to face him.

"I… I know this sounds a little weird, but I think I got lost." At first, Blaine thinks he's joking and he's about the reply until he notices the unsettled look in Kurt's eyes.

"What do you mean, you got lost? We walk there every day…" He lets go of Kurt and leads him over to the sofa, settling the man against his chest, arms around his shoulders. Kurt leans into him and Blaine can feel Kurt's breath against his neck as he speaks.

"I don't know. It was weird. I must have gotten the wrong road or something, because suddenly I just didn't know where I was at all. Well, then I found that old bench we used to sit on and I figured out where to go. I don't know… I'm probably just tired." Kurt doesn't sound like he really believes his own words and Blaine turns his head so they're facing each other.

"You sure you're okay?"

Kurt looks at him for a second, before smiling and patting Blaine's cheek in a somewhat condescending way.

"I'm sure. I've had a ton of things to do at work and it's screwing with my head a bit. I'm sure I'll be fine if I rest."

Blaine's not entirely convinced, but he lets it go nonetheless in favor of leaning in to steal a kiss. Kurt chuckles against his lips and sneaks a hand to tangle in Blaine's hair, pulling at his curls. The kiss is sweet and close-mouthed; Kurt's lips still cold from his trip outside. Blaine lets his hand rest on his husband's hip, pulling him closer while keeping the kisses light. Kurt sighs before pulling away, moving his body so he's sitting in Blaine's lap, smiling mischievously.

"You know, as my husband, I really don't think its okay for you to just let me sit here and be cold like this…" Blaine chuckles and plays along.

"No? Then what do you think I should do about it, Princess?" Kurt bites his lips seductively before answering.

"How about you heat me up… since you're so hot?" Blaine laughs out loud at that, ignoring Kurt's petulant frown.

"Oh, baby. We've gone through this before: _Please_ stop with the pick up lines. You're awful at it. " Blaine's still chuckling as Kurt stands up and drags him into the bedroom by his tie.

"My pick up lines are fantastic, thank you very much. I'll have you know I've never had any problems picking up guys." Blaine's pretty sure that the reason Kurt managed to hook up has everything to do with the fact that Kurt's hot as hell, and nothing to do with his horrible pick up lines. Blaine's also certain that Kurt could go into any gay bar and say nothing and still get laid. He doesn't say that out loud, however, because right now _Blaine_ is the one who wants to get some and he knows from experience that he's not getting it if he keeps pushing Kurt's buttons like this.

He lets Kurt push him onto the bed and unbutton his shirt, ignoring the part of him that's still worried about their previous conversation. He remains a little distracted while Kurt spreads kisses down his chest until Kurt's legs are wrapping tightly around his hips and Blaine forgets to think about anything but the feeling of Kurt around and beneath him.

Blaine is just lying in bed, tracing patterns onto Kurt's skin, marveling on how he ended up this lucky, when Kurt starts shifting. The taller man sighs heavily before sitting up in bed, looking more than a little unhappy. Blaine sits up and rests his hand on Kurt's back gently.

"What's the matter?" Kurt shakes his head.

"It's nothing really, I just remembered that I need to buy milk before the store closes. It's practically a blizzard out there, so I'm not really keen on going out. " Blaine tries desperately to ignore the heavy lump settling in his stomach.

"What do you mean, Kurt…? We have plenty of milk." Kurt just turns to look at him, confused.

"No, I used up everything yesterday, remember? We only have, like, half a carton or something." Blaine turns Kurt's head, a little desperate now for this to be some kind of joke, looking him in the eye.

"You went out and bought milk earlier today. Don't you remember? You got lost… You were away for almost an hour." Kurt just looks at him like he's insane before laughing.

"What are you talking about, silly? Why would I get lost, it's like 500 meters. I know my sense of direction isn't the best, but I'm not that bad. Seriously." Kurt gets up from bed, putting on one of Blaine's sweaters before walking into the Kitchen. Blaine can hear Kurt opening the fridge and suddenly feels like he can't breathe. Praying that Kurt will come into the bedroom to tell him that this is some kind of horrible joke. He's prayers go unheard, however, as Kurt enters and lies down on the bed again with a big smile on his face.

"You already went to the store? That's so sweet. It was my turn today, though. I know you're a gentleman, but you really didn't have to do that. " _I didn't._ Blaine thinks. _I didn't do that. __**You**__ did._ He doesn't say it out loud, though. He can't. Not when Kurt is happy and sweet and curling into him in that kittenish way he sometimes does. It was probably nothing. He is overreacting. So he stays silent and pulls the covers over both of them as Kurt yawns and turns off the light.

Yeah, it was probably nothing.

Weeks pass and Blaine is starting to become sufficiently reassured that it was just an isolated incident. Kurt keeps forgetting small things, but nothing major and Blaine is more than happy to forget about what he has secretly dubbed "the milk incident" in his mind. Especially now that they have so much to think about. Blaine and Kurt had been talking about adoption for a long time and had finally agreed that they were ready for the responsibility that came with a child. It had been a huge decision and Blaine was certain he would remember that moment as long as he lived. They'd gone down to the adoption agency a couple of days later and Kurt had been all nerves and cute little smiles. They'd even taken a picture together for Kurt's scrapbook outside the gray building, both of them smiling awkwardly and squinting their eyes against the bright midday sun. They were _happy_ and Blaine wanted nothing else than for things to remain like this. Unfortunately, you can't always get what you want.

"OW! God damn it." Blaine is startled out of his thoughts as he hears his husband's loud curse coming from the other end of their apartment. He sighs, putting the book down and wanders into the kitchen, not overly worried about Kurt's apparent injury. The man had always been a drama queen and he hadn't sounded _that_ hurt. He turns out to be right as he enters to the sight of Kurt running a slightly pink hand under the cold water at the kitchen sink.

"Hey. You okay?" Kurt grumbles something that Blaine doesn't quite catch before he pulls his hand out from the water and dries it with a towel.

"I'm fine. I burned myself on the stove. I completely forgot to turn it off." Kurt turns towards him and takes some plates out of the cabinet, placing them in front of Blaine.

"Could you set the table while I finish?" Blaine nods and reaches for the plates, watching as Kurt flits around the kitchen trying to finish the food. Blaine loves this. The domesticity. Just watching Kurt do normal things like cook dinner or spending time doing the dishes together. Kurt is wearing simple clothes; plain jeans and a big sweater that used to belong to his dad. Not a lot of people get to see Kurt like this and Blaine always feels a little giddy when he realizes that he is seeing a part of Kurt that is only accessible to him.

Soon enough they are eating and chatting about their day. Well, _Blaine_ is eating and Kurt is chatting about his day. About new designs and bitchy coworkers and Blaine tries desperately to pretend that he is listening. He really does, but it's getting increasingly harder as Kurt starts talking about the all the advantages of silk in men's clothing. Eventually Kurt _does_ stop talking and Blaine almost breathes a sigh in relief, until he feels Kurt fingers on his wrist grabbing his attention.

"Blaine. I've been thinking lately… You know how we talked about adopting?" Blaine nods, confused, hoping that this isn't Kurt's way of saying he isn't ready after all.

"Well, I know it's something you really want and I want to give you that. I think I'm ready. I want a family, Blaine." Blaine smiles, still confused, letting Kurt continue.

"I think we should go down to the adoption agency and look up some information, see what's out there, you know?" And suddenly Blaine's confusion is being replaced by an overwhelming dread.

"You mean you want to go to another one? I thought we decided to use Perkins." Blaine says, grabbing his husbands hand and watching as Kurt is the one getting confused.

"What do you mean? We haven't… Have you already gone? Without me?" Kurt sounds hurt now and vulnerable and Blaine is struggling to keep himself from crying.

"No, Kurt. We went there on Tuesday. Together. Do you remember?" Kurt looks just as lost as before, shaking his head lightly as he speaks.

"No, I… I've never been there, Blaine." Kurt's voice is breaking now and Blaine can feel his hand shaking under his fingers. He moves his chair so his sitting closer to Kurt, and rests a hand on his face.

"We were there, Kurt. Can you remember what you did on Tuesday? We were at the agency. We even took pictures for your scrapbook." Kurt's looking into his eyes, radiating uncertainty and Blaine is fighting with himself to stay calm.

"I-I… On Tuesday I was-I was…" His eyes are glossy now with unshed tears as he tries desperately to remember. Blaine lets go of his hand for a second and takes Kurt's iphone out of the taller mans pocket. Kurt watches him warily as Blaine enters the code and finds the pictures Kurt took that day. He turns it towards Kurt and watches as his expression crumbles, finally letting the tears fall.

"Oh, baby" Blaine puts the phone on the table and pulls Kurt into a hug, ignoring the stinging in his own eyes. He strokes Kurt back for a while, letting him cry into his sweater, staying quiet for now. Eventually Kurt pulls back a little and looks him into the eyes.

"I can't remember. Anything. I can't remember Tuesday and I keep forgetting things. Stupid things. Remember how I told you I met David in the store and we stayed and chatted." Blaine nods, not liking where this is going.

"I lied. I got lost again. I-I don't know what's wrong with me, Blaine. I-I just…" Kurt starts crying again and hides his face in his hands and Blaine has never felt more helpless. He gently pries Kurt fingers away and cups the man's face in both hands. Kurt's eyes are bloodshot from crying and Blaine wants nothing more than for this to be a bad dream. But it isn't. He won't wake up from this. It's real and he can't ignore it anymore.

"Kurt. I think you need to go see a doctor."


End file.
